Written by IainB
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Sunday, 31 July 2011

image for Facial Recognition systems - closing the security loophole
"No, this isn't a secure password, I'm just ugly"

With the increasing use of Facial Recognition to access computers, there is a move towards making them more secure.

"Currently," said chief software developer at Facial Recognition Organisation Group, Freddie Kermit, "these systems are quite secure. After all, only you has your face."

At least that's the theory.

There are exceptions. "We've seen cases of twins or siblings with close facial matches hacking into their brother's and sister's accounts," said Kermit. "Most times just for the kick of doing it, but sometimes with more sinister purposes."

Kermit also has documented evidence of more extreme hacking, with cases of severe cosmetic surgery so that a thief can steal the identify of their target and hack their systems.

"We do have a suggestion for those who use facial recognition security," said Kermit. "We suggest that when registering your face as your password, you pull a funny face. This way, even if your sibling or cosmetic surgery thief can get as far as your computer, there is no way they can guess the funny face that you pulled. Only you will know this."

According to Kermit, this is the modern equivalent of using numbers and punctuation in textual passwords.

"It's a strong password, instead of a weak one," he said. "And that can only be a good thing."

The best advice Kermit has for people who want to use facial recognition as an access method is don't.

"Facial recognition is good, but if you access your computer with the light coming from the other side, or after a heavy night on the booze, or a face lift," said Kermit, "it cannot recognise you. It thinks you're trying to hack the system and locks you out. Stick to ordinary passwords. Use squirrel noises if you have to make it completely secure."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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