Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 28 July 2011

image for Sky infected with Trojan cyber-spyware asteroid
This asteroid's been snooping and spreading IT malware

London - Scientists have confirmed that a 2010 TK7-type of asteroid has hacked into the iononsphere, wreaking havoc with the doomed BSkyB takeover business.

The 200/300m-wide rock may be a huge clue in the UK mobile hacking scandal where eavesdropping and cyber-phishing expeditions have brought the Establishment to its knees.

Science sources said today the Trojan had been stalking Earth-bound telecoms ever since the launch of the Telstar satellite in 1962.

"We blame feckless Soviet bastard Nikita Khrushchev," NASA's Jet Convulsion Laboratory sources commented, "for wanting to snoop on Jackie Kennedy's five year tryst with Lyndon B Johnson."

This week the Trojan asteroid was caught spying on a new wormhole - thought to be named after ex-NewsCorpse CEO Rebekah Brooks.

It is thought to be responsible for the installation of a slavebot - codenamed Glenn Mulcaire after the notorious Scottish phishing lodge on the banks of Loch Ness - that's responsible for the infestation of Stuxnet protocols in police computers.

"We still don't really know who's behind this," the NASA source admitted grudgingly this afternoon.

"Smart money's always on Mad Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin - and his holy father mr Ratzinger."

Gary McKinnon is innocent, OK?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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