Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Thursday, 21 July 2011

image for Shuttle Atlantis Lands For Last Time...Sent Back Up Again!

Space Shuttle Atlantis touched down safely after its final mission this morning - only to be turned around and sent back into space again!

The touchdown at Kennedy Space Centre in Florida was supposed to have been the last act in the 30-year space shuttle programme. But an oversight by a forgetful astronaut meant the crew and their craft had to return to the International Space Station.

Atlantis arrived on her runway just before dawn this morning and the support vehicles were soon buzzing around the craft, preparing for the crew's exit and removal of experiments and rubbish from the trip.

But as the crew was about to exit, commander Chris Ferguson was heard to tell Mission Control at Huston: "Er, Huston, mission accomplished. But, ha ha, can you tell Steve we forgot his special spanner?"

There was a pause in the NASA broadcast to the media, but a commotion could be heard at Mission Control. When the capcom came back on air, he said: "Er, Atlantis... er, Steve is not a happy..."

Against established NASA protocol Capcom was interrupted by another, agitated, voice: "Yeah... Atlantis. You forgot the motherf*****' spanner? Sumvabitch! You know that motherf*****' spanner cost five million motherf*****' dollars?

"You just get your asses turned around and get your motherf*****' asses back out there and get that motherf*****' spanner. You hear me?"

With that, according to unsustantiated reports, Atlantis was whisked over to launch complex 39A where she was hurriedly prepared for flight and launched into space again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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