Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 13 July 2011

image for Olfactory Scientists Release 2011 Report on World's Worst Odors
Ms. Lohan's well stained panties did not make number one

In addition to obvious top candidates that included the common Striped Skunk and the ever favorite Georgio Perfume, the Reykjavik Association of Olfactory Scientists has just released their 2011 report on the world's most pungent and disgusting odors.

While the 2010 list was widely held to be the worst odor collection of all time, that opinion was based on the known recorded history of the RAOS report which goes all the way back to 2009. Experts in olfactory science believe that the 2011 announcements are leaps and bounds ahead of last year's Rotting Kelp, Halitosis, and Susan Boyle's Toe Jam entries from 2010.

"Quite the festival for the senses", says Professor, Ian Gudtyme from Trinity College of Dublin. "Some of the 2011 entries like the Durian Fruit are so pungent, you can taste the stench as you breathe it in. Your clothes will never smell quite right again".

Independent testing for the 2011 entries began in earnest this past May, where votes were cast by volunteers solicited in shopping malls, with only 37 vomiting episodes reported in the process. After all testing was complete, the votes were tallied and the results listed below:

Third worst odor for 2011: Hakarl - Icelandic rotten, fermented shark meat

Second worst odor for 2011: Lindsay Lohan's Under Britches - After a night of heavy debauchery

Worst overall odor for 2011: Moth Balls

The number one entry for worst overall odor raised some eyebrows with olfactory experts including Dr. Will Ubytmi from the University of South Africa in Capetown. Ubytmi had challenged what he deemed to be a "weak" ranking of moth balls as number one, which prompted an immediate response from Professor Gudtyme.

"Have you actually smelled the pungent effects of fresh moth balls?" asked Gudtyme.

"Of course I have. Are you daft?" replied Ubytmi.

"How did you successfully pull their legs apart?" followed Gudtyme.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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