Written by Ellie James
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Wednesday, 13 July 2011

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Remember the not so smart phone?

As the world embraces smart phones for day-to-day tasks, some scientists fear that smart phones might become too smart for their own good.

Computer software engineers from the United States, Germany and, Japan have been collaborating to fix a bug that some smart phones are beginning to possess.

The so called "bug" has become more evident after complaints that the phones are beginning to detect the blood alcohol level of it's users and make drunk phone calls and text messages on their own with no knowledge of the owner.

It was discovered early one morning after the bars had closed by a programmer who was passed out in a friend's car after a night of tequila shots and Corona. While he was passed out his phone had called his ex-girlfriend several times using the Marvin Gaye voice on the voice alternator that had been downloaded on the phone.

In addition to that, the phone had texted his brother-in-law over ten times stating, "U rrrrrr qqqaaawww aassssss." While those aren't the exact letter combinations it used every time, the basic message was implied.

His friends could all vouch for the fact that he was passed out from the hours of 2 am to noon the next day, which is within the time frame of the calls and texts.

In addition to this, a programmer from Seattle stated that one of his friends reported that the phone changed all his passwords and when he tried to rectify the situation, he learned that his identifying code words were all changed to words like "douche" and "arsebag."

All phone carriers still deny it is actually the phone's fault. However, programmers and the victims all state otherwise. Dr Lars Hoffmann from Hamburg, Germany stated that he too was a victim of his phone. Apparently his smart phone hacked into his investment portfolio and his assets now reflect shares in the now defunct British tabloid News of the World.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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