THE length of a man's fingers gives a clue to the size of his manhood.
An index finger that is shorter than the ring finger may indicate a longer penis, according to scientists.
Previous studies have shown strong evidence that testosterone in the womb may determine finger development as well as penis length.
Professor Mike Ocksbig told us, "I'm so excited about these findings. I'd like to say I was the first to point it out, but my index finger's so small I can't do that. I have to use my enormous wang."
Professor Ocksbig continued, "I love penis facts. I know more about them than any other living person. For example, I was saying to my female researcher, 'Did you know the Argentine blue-bill duck has for its size, the largest penis of any vertebrate, over half it's body length?' Her reply? 'Get out of here!'
I told her it was true. 'And did you know that the blue whale ejaculates around five gallons of sperm?'
'No, get out of here,' she said again. 'This is the ladies toilets, you fucking pervert.'
However, I'm not demoralised. Just check out to see if your index finger's smaller than your ring finger. If it is, Hey Presto!
Of course, if you're a woman you may need to see a specialist."