Written by Les Being
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Saturday, 2 July 2011

image for Microsoft's "House of the future" dogged with problems

Brainchild of Dr David Page, the house of the future would be both family and eco friendly. A super fast computer controlled every aspect of home management from ordering food to replacing used fridge contents, to switching off lights and appliances not in use.

This new computer is driven by a completely new type of software called, Holistic Algorithm Locater or HAL for short. Dr Page moved in to beta test the new house.

The problems started on day one when Dr Page requested HAL make him toast for breakfast. HAL believing toast was bad for him declared, "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"

On day two of the testing a door was damaged when the automatic floor polisher suffered a buffer over run. Later that same day several holes mysteriously appeared in walls which required patches to be downloaded. Shortly after several room partitions disappeared but returned when the room was restored to an earlier date.

On day three all the windows started opening and closing for no apparent reason. A Microsoft technician reported this was normal and nothing to worry about. Dr Page however was worried about the window malfunction as he was suffering from a virus brought about by a number of bugs in the house.

On day four Dr Page's viral condition worsened and he was accidently deleted by HAL. Engineers failed in their attempts to retrieve him and decided to pull the plug on HAL.

The final report simply stated, Error 404 Page not found. Seconds later the monitor restarted itself and reported, "This computer was not shut down correctly, press any key to continue". Oops, perhaps they got it's backup……………………………

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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