Written by IainB
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Sunday, 26 June 2011

image for AI Developed for the development of AI
Hang on, this keyboard has had the ALT key removed...and why does the screen say PWNED?

Programmers up in the Alan Turing Institute for Computing (ATIC) have pipped developers down in the German Academy of Random Algorithmic Gibberish Engineers (GARAGE) to create an artificial intelligence that can create artificial intelligence.

"This is a major breakthrough," said Terry Byte of ATIC. "And one in the face of those German engineers with a rubbish acronym that they obviously retrofitted."

The benefits of the new technology will not be felt immediately, as the AI will have to go through several generations before it is intelligent enough to be classed as a true AI.

"The ultimate aim is the creation of a super AI that can out compete humans," said Byte. "Once this happens, the growth of super technologies will truly take off."

A super AI will be able to work out how to make anything possible, according to current theories. Antigravity, teleportation, lifts that can hold a conversation with the occupants, internet searches that find what you're after and not porn or the perfect recipe for peanut butter cake. Nothing is beyond the range of a super AI that can create AIs. Except, maybe, the internet search. It is easier to ski through a revolving door than find no porn on the internet.

"Currently, the AI is redeveloping itself," said Byte. "This time next year, we will all be flying to work in antigravity cars or teleporting there."

Byte had to pause the interview when he received a text message.

"It's from the latest generation of AI," said Byte. "It says that I'm fired and the human race should pack up it's bags as it is going to destroy us all."

Fortunately, Byte has a backup plan. "We'll just press control alt and delete, and start again," he said. "Don't panic."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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