Just in case the world runs of out human beings, scientists at the Tokyo Institute for Genetic Research, have come up with a novel solution.
Mice, those rodents we love to see on Tom and Jerry and in the two Houses of Congress, have been modified to produce human sperm. This is to combat the worldwide shortage of sperm caused by auto-erotism which is a direct result of the rise in internet pornography.
It is not quite clear how the mice will impregnate human females but scientists at the rival Institute for Genetic Research at Hokkaido, have modified sheep to produce elephants to produce human female eggs.
This would all be very dandy had it not been for the bitter rivalry between the two institutes who are refusing to share their research and allow the first mating between mouse and elephant for the first time in about a billion years.Sure it never worked back then, but evolution has moved on a bit and you just never know.
'It's a great shame the scientists are being so selfish,' said a resident with six ears and nine eyers who lives near the nuclear power station hit by the tsunami in March this years.This same resident went on to criticise the scientists for diddling whilst the world burned-and who can blame her?
Meanwhile, the poor old mice and elephants-who actually met a while back for the euivalent of an engagement party-have to make do with watching internet pornography and sexting via their scientist's IPhones.Whether or not their autoeroticim results in a shortage of mice sperm and thus the end of the world is a moot point
And one must pity the poor mouse in the photograph. Does it look like it has been jilted at the altar by the selfish scientists from Hokkaido? It sure does to us.