Written by IainB
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Topics: Green, Survey, Colors

Thursday, 23 June 2011

image for Green is the most relaxing colour
I don't feel very relaxed, mum

After extensive research by the Portsmouth Institute for Social Sciences it has been determined that colour bias - the preference for one colour over another - is universal.

"We have used several hundred paint colour charts from a variety of manufacturers," said PISS Head of Colour Studies, Julie Lucks. "It transpires that different colours have different effects on people. More importantly, these effects transcend backgrounds, cultural stereotypes, gender and age."

Green came out as the most relaxing colour, whilst blue left the participants in the study feeling uneasy and cold. Orange was warming at first, but soon gave the study subjects a headache and nausea. Red made a lot of people angry, whilst yellow gave people a feeling of indifference. The most universally hated colour, as discovered in the study, was brown.

"We feel that these colour biases have implications outside of the world of interior decorating," said Lucks. "These kinds of preferences should be considered when branding anything from supermarkets, mobile phone suppliers or political parties."

Politicians have taken note of the study, with Labour admitting that they probably did make a lot of people very angry, and left Brown universally despised. However, they do not feel that they can change their red based image just yet, due to the large cost in replacing all the letter heads, and supplying their members of parliament with pens coloured other than red. "The Millibands quite like their red pens," said stationary supplier to the Labour Party, Gareth Staples.

Also taking notice of the research, but unlikely to change their image, are the supermarkets. "Orange has been our colour for a long time," said one CEO who preferred to go unnamed and will be known only as JS. "As orange starts off warming, if we can speed up the throughput of customers, hopefully they will never get the headache and nausea. Unless that's caused by the prices. But it's too late by then. Muwahahahaha."

The British banks are also going to take heed of the study, and every last one of them will be going green. "As long as our customers take the paperless option," laughed Kev Board, Purchasing Director of NatfaxSB, the country's largest bank.

The survey was sponsored by the Green Party.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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