Written by Jeff Brone
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Topics: Weather, Hurricane

Monday, 6 June 2011

The national Weather Service issued their prediction for this year's hurricane season, confidently asserting that in all likelihood it will be very different than what they expect.

A spokesman for NOAA stated that "If history teaches us anything, it's that we're wrong. From global warming, El Nino, hurricanes, the whole thing. We're basically just flipping through the channels. I mean that literally. I watch all the Weather Channel shows and barely know whether or not to take an umbrella in the morning."

When asked if they have tried to "jazz up" the weather forecasting in recent years, he replied "Oh definitely. All the shows like "Storm Chasers," "When Raindrops Attack," "It will Happen Next Week" really hype it up." He then added "I remember when weathermen were on TV for a few minutes at a time and basically said "Rain tomorrow, the high near 60." Sure, they were wrong a lot too, but it wasn't such a colossal waste of time."

He went on to say "The whole 'partly sunny,' 'partly cloudy,' 'variably cloudy,' 'peeks of sun' thing. What's the difference? What does that all even mean?"

When asked what the average person can do about the problem, he said "Look out the window. What do you see? Congratulations, you're a weatherman!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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