A teenager in China has sold one of his kidneys in order to buy an iPad 2, Chinese media report.
The 17-year-old, identified only as Little Zheng, told a local TV station he had arranged the sale of the kidney over the internet.
However, in a move that has shocked even the most hardened technophiles, eBay has reported iPads being offered, not for cash, but for body-parts.
A typical eBay advertisement, seen by The Spoof, runs as follows: "Nearly new iPad 2 available, postage free, in return for penis greater than 8 inches long and 3 inches girth. Penis to be sent on ice."
eBay spokespersonnage Hugh Jizzum tells us, "This is unprecedented. We know that the iPad is simply an iPhone. We believe that people have found out that if you hold an ordinary iPhone closer to your face it suddenly appears to be an iPad. Customers are disappointed. And this Chinese lad has done disgruntled iPad owners a favour by opening up a world of possibilities regarding the swapping of pieces of, essentially, junk for longed-for parts of the body."
By far the most popular anatomical parts are genitalia. eBay has categorised them according to colour, size and, where penises are concerned, ejaculatory ability. Also high on the list of priorities are new arseholes, nipples and tongues.
A word of caution has been raised by the General Medical Council. Dr. Pat Trousers told us, "Customers need to be very careful to ensure they are not receiving damaged goods. Some penises may be worn out already, or simply don't come (sic) up to scratch. In fact, some penises may only be able to be scratched. We advise caution."
Whereas in the past the nine and a half inch iPad satisfied most gullible customers, it now seems that nine and a half inches of man-meat beats it into a cocked hat.