Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Drugs

Monday, 23 May 2011

image for Paracetamol Pronunciation Headache
Tomaytoes or tomartoes?

Drug company executives were up in arms this evening after a government ruling on the pronunciation of the popular painkiller Paracetamol threw millions of users into panic and confusion.

Paracetamol has for centuries been pronounced Para-seata-mol, with the emphasis being on the 'seat' in the middle, or, as foolish children like to joke "Parrots eat 'em all", with the emphasis being on the 'eat' in the middle.

Now, however, the medical profession has spoken out and insisted that the correct form of the word - Para-setta-mol - is used in the future, with the changed emphasis of 'set' in the middle of the word. As in the dog breed, Red Setter.

David Cameron's government has given its full backing (whatever that means) to the suggestion, and rubber-stamped it immediately.

The alteration is bound to cause distress to billions of users worldwide, who take the drug whenever they get a slight headache. Indeed, it may even give them a headache, for which they will then have to take a couple of paracetamol tablets.

Or they could just have a tot of whisky/whiskey.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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