After a failed attempt to convince people that "Global Warming is a hoax", Scientist are now coming forward and asking people to do their part to destroy the environment.
Dr. Lance Gorden, an environmentalist, was quoted, in Time Magazine, saying "After a few years of studying, we found that the ozone was healing itself, and that animal populations were closer to their peaks. The public needs to be aware of the situation. If we do not take over the environment and show it who is boss, then the environment will take over us."
Even though "The Scientist Out to Show Humans Are Superior Than the Environment Group" (SOTSHASTEG) successfully caused an oil spill, cleanup crews cleaned up the mess way too fast. "This prevented any major damage to the environment which is so desperately needed because the self-esteem of the environment is at an all time high." Dr. Cathy Berks told reporters.
"Another contributing factor is the movement towards greener-energy sources." Dr. Paul Sanders stated in a press-conference that was held at a local Denny's restaurant in Ohio this Saturday.
The scientists are encouraging people not to buy products made from recycled material, and to throw away everything even though they know that it is recyclable.
Scientist agree that if we do not beat the environment at its own game, it will eventually enslave us.