Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 25 April 2011

image for Mayo Clinic Releases Report On Effects Of Viagra On Women
Good for men, great for women!

The Mayo Cllinic has released the results of a five year study on the effects of Viagra tablets on women. The study verified the effects to the body of women who took the drug orally, not of women whose male partners took the drug. The study was funded, in part, by the Obama Stimulus Plan and by a group called the "Boston Organization Researching Erectile Dysfunction (B.O.R.E.D.).

Several side effects of the medication were discovered when the prescription drug was taken by women instead of men.

Dr. Kilroy Mucusleaves, head researcher on the project, released the results of his double blind study in the New England Journal of Medicine. In an exclusive interview with this publication, he gave the following statements:

"We discovered that the product has several different effects on females than on males. Many of these, however, seem to be related to the designed usage of the product on men."

"For example, women who took Viagra tended to have perkier breasts. They just seemed to "stand at attention" longer. I must have watched 2500 different breasts in the past five years, from women of all ages, and found the same results in all of them: Viagra women just don't sag as much!"

"As this was a double blind study, I often squeezed these breasts with a covering over my eyes, and it felt exactly the same way as it looked: perkier."

"My research group also noticed that women who took Viagra had longer nipples when the nipples became firm. I think that I went through three tons of ice on women to check this effect, both before and after they took the medication. My hands almost became frostbitten with the amount of ice I applied to the breasts to see the effect, but I did it in the name of science!"

"Another side effect of the medication was that the pubic hair in women, often called the short and curlies, all became much straighter. Of course, since many women shave themselves today, I had to verify this with women who stayed more traditional down there."

"We also discovered that women who took the medication in our study had a greater desire for sex and that Viagra seemed to reduce and eliminate the number of headaches that they had."

"Women who take Viagra also showed increased driving ability, being able to actually drive a car in a straight line."

"The final side effect that I noticed was that women on Viagra had a greater frequency of belching and scratching their crotch. I guess this just goes with taking a drug that was designed for men."

"In conclusion, we found that the following list of side effects to women taking Viagra:
Perkier breasts
Less sagging
Longer nipples
Straightened Pubic Hair
Greater Sex Drive
Fewer Headaches
Improved Driving
More Frequent Belching
More Frequen Crotch Scratching.

"We feel that the majority of these are beneficial and are attempting to convince makers of women's multiple vitamins to add Viagra to the list of their ingredients. We think that this would make both men and women much happier in their lives and in their sex lives and may decrease the need for men to receive stimulation from Viagra. My wife has had a prescription to the medicine for the past few years and we are both much happier."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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