Written by Gary Potter
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Friday, 15 April 2011

image for So Longo, Mountain Bongo, in the Wrongo?!
Not a Mountain Bongo

The largest forest antelope, the Mountain Bongo, is almost certainly going to be come extinct. The native African species is projected to become extinct within the next 14 years, unless 'evolution' plays a blinder.

Although the exploits of man have not helped the Bongo due to hunting and the destruction of its habitat, the biggest problem seems to stem from the 1890s when the deadly animal disease Rinderpest was introduced to the species. Contrary to evolutionary thought, the Bongo hasn't bothered to mutate, and as a result faces almost certain extinction.

A formal declaration that rinderpest has been eradicated, by man not by evolution, is expected this year (2011) but this would seem to be too late for the the poor Bongo. A relative of the measles virus, rinderpest is fragile and usually does not fair well in hot dry and sunny conditions, such as those found in Africa(?).

Disappointed evolutionists are blaming a so called 'Genetic Bottleneck' for the demise of the Bongo. This term was invented to explain the lack of mutation between a low population, blaming the lazy animals themselves for not 'getting it on'. A genetic bottleneck is not, I repeat not, a rubbish excuse to explain another failed evidence of evolutionary mutation. Although having had 120 years to combat the virus, the Bongos haven't managed to mutate as evolution would predict. I again stress that genetic bottlenecks are not to be taken as an excuse that evolution is drivel.

Dawkin Richards, evolution fundamentalist, was angered by the Bongo's laziness "We would expect that mutation and natural selection would produce a species that could combat the rinderpest virus or at least speed up the gestation period. This news, rather than suggesting that evolution is a tissue of lies, would instead explain to us that genetic bottlenecks are the culprit. However, we must not lose hope. As we insist that mutations are very common, there is still chance that a virus resistant species might be produced, or that a faster reproducing species might result, or even that idea off of "Gremlins", where if you get them wet, they grow pods and stuff and hatch from them. Some might even sprout wings and fly to safer climes." We left Richards musing in his fantasy world.

Meanwhile, real scientists and conservationists are doing their very best to save the threatened creature.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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