Written by Matt Maus
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Friday, 15 April 2011

image for SuperGod to Replace God
A Tiny Section of Big G's Internal Wiring

After months of anxious speculation last night saw the announcement that a SuperGod is officially set to replace God when he is decommissioned later in the year.

She will be known as The Big G, and after undergoing rigorous trials in the US she will be launched worldwide just in time for Christmas.

A spokesperson for the designers explained that the old god was wearing a bit thin and was fast running out of steam. This was to be expected - he had after all been commandeered into dealing with much more than he had been designed for. He had had to make himself available to three big belief systems as well as countless smaller breakaway ministries, sects and cults.

Many details of The Big G are still under wraps but it is thought that the new improved almighty will take care of many issues the old version was finding it difficult to cope with. Problems such as the Problem of Evil, evolution, quantum mechanics, religion, science, free will, creationists, atheism, the Theory of Everything and so on should now be child's play.

Much of the smiting capability of the old god will go, much to the chagrin of many religionists, who consider a god's no fun without a good bit of smiting. Also being scrapped is most of his anger, violence, and demanding nature. These are to be replaced by such things as accessibility and logic - more suited to the 21st century and the foreseeable future.

"This is not just a cosmetic revamp or parameter tweaking exercise," said a spokesperson, "we've gone back to the drawing board and totally rebuilt the almighty from the holy ground up. There is a lot of work still to be done but we are optimistic that she will be delivered and installed on time and on budget."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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