Written by Inhopeless
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Thursday, 14 April 2011

LOS ANGELES - Steve Jobs, and his followers were shocked today after learning the meaning of douchebag.

Douchebag, pronounced doosh-baag, is an insult dating from 2004. However, many Apple fans thought that it meant cool, when applied to their gadgets and selves.

"Oh, my, god," said one. "It's like so, totally, like, mainstream to call Applites douchebags. Oh, my, god. It's like so, like, ironic. And irony, is, like, mainstream."

Apple, the playtoy of hipsters, and people who like wasting money, and hipsters, have responded with a whiny letter:

Dear world,
We are offended that you called us mean, mean, name. We are cool. My mummy said so.

Signed, Apple.

Google are, however, giving away free Android-capable smartphones to all who have denounced Apple and its douche-y ways.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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