Written by Jaggedone
Print this
Topics: Alcohol, cancer

Friday, 8 April 2011

image for Boozing is good for you if you don't want to know about cancer!
Drink plenty of it and you won't even notice!

Scientists have discovered that the more you booze the more lightly you are to get cancer, not only; smoking, unhealthy eating, drinking fizzy sugary drinks a la coca cola, etc, filthy environments, too much sex, too little sex, too much oral sex, masturbating, sucking exhaust pipes, living below electricity pylons, swimming in the sea, getting fat, being thin, eating fish, not eating fish, being a vegetarian, not-being a vegetarian, being a vegan, having a mobile phone stuck on your ear 24/7, sitting behind computers 24/7, playing sports, etc, etc, cause cancer too?

In fact every single aspect of human activity could enhance the risk of cancer, if overdone or underdone?

The only way to avoid knowing anything about getting cancer is to get pissed every night, then you won't even notice it!

Scientists want future generations to be completely healthy and reach ripe old ages of 100 and above, but there is one slight hitch, who the f+++++g hell is going to pay their pensions?

Not me, I'm just about to get pissed!

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 5?

8 21 5 9
67 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more