Radical reforms will be taking place shortly in schools throughout the world, due to the final acknowledgement that the theory of evolution is nothing more than a fairy tale, disturbingly, believed plausible by more adults than children.
The 7 year old child featured in a previous story (who cannot be named for legal reasons) was invited by some actual scientist boffin types to explain why in his opinion, the theory of evolution was nothing more than a load old flummery.
At the conclusion of examining all the evidence for evolution, some 2 minutes later, the scientists were unanimous in filing the theory of evolution into the toilet.
When asked, Professor Dinglewit Horatio Smythe Rooney Subo Beckham Bieber Beyonce Jones, M.D, AAAP, AAAAAP, TKIZ, QZUVX commented "I can't believe we haven't spotted the flaws in the theory before. I was taught the idea as a fact in school, college and university, and had assumed that there was some evidence to back it up. Now I feel like a complete silly arse."
Since Charles Darwin's monumental book 'The Origin of Species' (which ironically did not reveal the origin of any species at all) in 1859, evolutionists have searched in vain to try and prove that over a period of billions of years, pond scum gradually turned into humans, as well as every other species such as ants, elephants, armadillos, giraffes and eagles. And whales. And gliding phalangers.
At the time Darwin realised and expected that the fossil record would provide the vital evidence of his fantastic and unlikely claim.
Alas, the 2009 celebration of 150 years of his tome turned into an obituary as no proof of Darwin's outlandish notion that somehow 'simple' organisms magically become increasingly complex if given enough time, has been found.
This alarming lack of evidence has forced certain evolutionists to conclude that changes from one species into another happen in very quick mysterious bursts to which they have given the pseudoscientific sounding term 'Punctuated Equilibrium'. This 'punctuated equilibrium' theory has the tremendous benefit of not requiring transitional fossils, the so-called missing links that so plague Darwin's followers. Thereby with 'punctuated equilibrium' theory, we would expect to find no gradual transitional fossils, and so it is in direct opposition to Darwin.
The only drawback to this quackery is that there is no plausible explanation or demonstrable evidence as to what causes these miraculous transformations from one defined species into another. It's as if a species appeared fully formed. We are simply left with a collection of fossilised species which can be arbitrarily arranged into whatever order is desired. Which is what we started with in the first place!
This embarrassing open split proves beyond all doubt that evolution is nothing more than a vague pipe dream, and that it is definitely not scientific.
Scientists do not debate what Red Litmus paper means for example; it is a testable, repeatable, observable, provable fact that Red Litmus paper shows the presence of an acid. There is no debate.
Conversely, the disagreement between the evolutionists themselves not only highlights that evolution is nothing more than a tenuous theory, but coupled with a lack of any empirical evidence should certainly not be taught as a science to our children.
"In times of recession funding should be channelled into genuine scientific research and developments, not on inventing implausible myths to try and explain our origins. I for one am thrilled that our doctors will be given more funds to combat disease, than wasting it on trying to suggest that an amoeba gradually turned into the now extinct veloceraptor. Now that Darwin's work can sit aside that of JK Rowling, we can get on with the real science." Said the 7yr old child from his secret bunker. Reports that the child has been threatened with 'tar and feathering' have been received by Cambfordshire Police.