A gay man is angry and offended that his ground-breaking research into cures for Cancer, Heart Disease, Alzheimer's Disease and the Common Cold are being ignored purely on the grounds of his gayness.
Larry Sabu, 20, says that he has been busy working on all sorts of crazy formulas and chemical tests in his copy book for years, but whenever he tries to present his theories he is shouted down.
"They tell me that only non-gay people can be scientists", Larry said, "they tell me to go away and call me 'Charles Hawtrey Bottom' and other cruel names"
Larry says that the cruel scientific community shuns him and tell him to fuck off and take a 'traditional' gay job.
"They told me to be a gossipy hairdresser, or a randy masseuse or a jolly psychiatric nurse - the flipping bastards", Larry grumbled.
But the staunchly heterosexual science world may one day rue its mockery of Larry Sabu.
"When they have cancer and a heart attack, and are rocking back and forth in a nursing home with a head cold they'll think twice about how they treated me. . . but considering they'll have Alzheimer's they probably won't remember", Larry vowed.