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Thursday, 17 March 2011

image for Alternative To Stamps On The Way

Denmark is introducing a Mobile Postage Service that can be used as an alternative to the traditional stamp.

Instead of having to put a stamp on a letter or parcel, Danes will be able to text a message to the Post Office and they will receive a code to be written on the letter. Users will be charged for the service by means of a text link to paypal.

The Royal Mail are keen to replicate the service in the UK and will be announcing similar measures from April 1st onwards.

According to Geraldine Camberwell, Royal Mail spokesperson, there will be a sliding scale of charges and services :

"Users who just want to send a letter or parcel second class will be charged 50p. Items sent this way will arrive at their destination within 2 to 3 weeks of sending and are guaranteed to be either dog eared, crumpled or smelling of urine.

First class mail will cost £1 per item and will arrive within 7 days of posting. It will get to its destination in mint condition and smelling of roses or any other pleasant odour requested by the sender.

The Rolls Royce option will cost £5 for each missive and will have a guaranteed next day delivery. Not only will each item arrive in a pristine state, but , in the event of the recipient not being in situ at time of delivery, a small sensor attached to the missive will emit the sound of a door bell every 2 minutes for a 24 hour period.

All of us at the Royal Mail are confident that this innovation will continue the customer service improvements from which the public have benefited over the past few years"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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