Tokyo, Japan-- The terrible earthquake that struck the Pacific Basin yesterday was so powerful, it actually changed the orbit of the earth. The calamity pushed the earth ahead in its orbit by more than two months. Tomorrow will be May 19, instead of March 13.
"It's just like when you give a football a good kick; it jumps ahead. That's what happened to the Earth on Friday." said NASA chief Dr. Karl Saygun.
Astronomers noticed the change last night, when their star charts did not line up correctly. Sunrises and sunsets around the globe are also very different.
"Most everyone in the United States will see the sun stay up an hour longer, beginning tomorrow." said Dr. Saygun. "It will seem very strange."
Scientists said the only way to fix the problem is to change the calendar.
"The quake has affected everyone and everything on the planet. We have all lost 67 days of our lives. Try to keep things in perspective, and not complain too much." advised the famed astronomer.