A five year government research project into the leisure activity preferences of domestic goldfish finally wound up yesterday, having employed a grand total of sixteen scientists and over two hundred assistants at a total cost of £13.7million.
The research results appeared to confirm theories that goldfish aren't remotely interested in either football or golf, not overly keen on white water canoeing, and basically mainly content with swimming around in circles, blowing bubbles and eating fish food.
Project leader, Wayne McLooney told Skoob Scientific News Reporter, Mark Almost:
"We installed some goalposts and a ball into the tank, but after about three years or so, they showed little interest in slamming the ball into the back of the net. It was pretty much the same with golf - they didn't seem to be interested in the clubs, but one or two of them seemed to enjoy circumnavigating the flag on the miniature green. It was even worse with the white water canoeing - they got into a proper flap when we tried to prod them into miniature canoes with pointed sticks."
Critics have slammed the study as a big waste of money, but researchers say that such exercises are vital as a means of gaining understanding of the world about us.
It has been posited that the team will remain in place and begin a new investigation into whether polar bears prefer to eat curries or Chinese takeaways, if left with no other option. Which will start on Monday.
More as we get it.