Written by grimbo
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Wednesday, 23 February 2011

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Recent research by the Institute of Psychology suggests that some football fans have been victims of a Supreme Being who has been tapping into their mental brainspaces over the last 2 years and has taken over their consciousness and thought processes.

This Power has homed in on the ups and downs they have suffered recently and exploited their feelings of insecurity and in the process has recruited thousands of converts who are now subject to his every whim.

The Supreme Being has achieved this by using classic brainwashing techniques that are now standard in the intelligence community :

With his identity in crisis, experiencing low self esteem, the target may undergo what is referred to as a "nervous breakdown." It may involve uncontrollable sobbing, deep depression and general disorientation. The target may have lost his grip on reality and have the feeling of being completely lost and alone.

When the target reaches his breaking point, his sense of self is pretty much up for grabs - he has no clear understanding of who he is or what is happening to him. At this point, the agent sets up the temptation to convert to another belief system that will save the target from his misery.

With ­the target in a state of crisis, the agent offers some small kindness or reprieve from the feelings of inadequacy. He may offer the target promotion to the top league or the financial insolvency of a historical rival. In a state of breakdown resulting from an endless psychological attack, the small kindness seems huge, and the target may experience a sense of relief and gratitude completely out of proportion to the offering, as if the agent has saved his life.

Contrasting the agony of the old with the peacefulness of the new, the target chooses the new identity, clinging to it like a life preserver. He rejects his old belief system and pledges allegiance to the new one that is going to make his life better. At this final stage, there are often rituals or ceremonies to induct the converted target into his new community such as signing of highly rated players or winning a national, but minor competition. This stage has been described by some brainwashing victims as a feeling of "rebirth".

Unfortunately, the football fan can also experience an additional technique that has previously never been utilised in the brainwashing field : false dawn syndrome.

The target is guided to the brink of the desired achievement and then success is seemingly snatched away at the very last minute.

Who will be victorious in this battle of wills ?

Will the Supreme Being ultimately triumph or will the target break free from His sphere of influence and achieve his goal ?

It could go either way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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