Written by Juvenal Delinquent
Print this

Thursday, 17 February 2011

image for Study: Erectile Dysfunction Drugs Lower IQ

A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) reveals that drugs used to treat erectile dysfunction can lower a man's IQ by up to 30 points.

The study, which followed a group of middle-aged men for two years while taking Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, demonstrated that they all had significant decreases on intelligence tests while taking the drugs. Researchers concluded that the increase in blood flow to the penis caused an inverse proportion of blood flow to the brain. The areas responsible for planning and judgment seemed to suffer the most deleterious effects, with participants seemingly unable to make good decisions while having a hard-on.

Dr. Iva Bohner, who headed the study, concluded that men who take these drugs run the risk of doing stupid shit like, not take no for an answer, hire prostitutes, hit on girls half their age, star in their own amateur porn video or, worse, act like Charlie Sheen. "What we discovered was that the little head really does do the thinking for the big head", he was quoted as saying. "As long as men understand this risk, they can continue taking the drug, although I wouldn't advise it for men with an already low IQ as it can turn a Neanderthal into a Bonobo monkey", he continued.

The study further revealed that, although the effects of the lowered IQ are temporary, prolonged usage of the drugs increase the chance of permanent brain damage and masturbating in public. As always, if you have an erection that lasts for 4 hours or more, you should visit your nearest emergency Asian massage parlor, or contact your doctor.

Make Juvenal Delinquent's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 5?

3 23 7 5
52 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more