PALO ALTO, CA - In order to shift downloads of Microsoft's new Internet Explorer web browser, MS are desperately going to great lengths. Each download will come with a laser gun.
Internet Explorer, which has been losing market share to Firefox and Google Chrome, says that the shipping of the lasers was a 'bold move'.
"Not only does IE come with great security," said a spokesman, "it come with a free laser. Suck that 'Fox!"
The Firefox and Chrome user bases have laughed at the marketing gimmick.
"Oh please," said Inhopeless, "it sucks ass." However, MS have said, the laser cannot be used for other uses.
The new Firefox 4 beta release comes with a free, well-built car that can do anything from 2 to 12,000 km/h, depending on your wish.
"We thought that, hey," said a rep, "car beats laser. Especially since ours has a user base and cool addons."
Many consumers, who are stuck in the middle of this battle are... what? What do you mean, what's a browser? The internet is displayed using your browser... what am I smoking? Why the hell are you reading this? Go away!