Written by Proffitt
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Topics: Parliament, MPs, Lies

Thursday, 10 February 2011

image for Lie detector fitted to House of Commons implodes after just 20 minutes!
Catastrophic failure

In a bold move to re-establish confidence in our MP's David Cameron made the decision to fit a revolutionary new lie detector in the House of Commons, but that decision may now have back fired.

The device engineered by a German scientist and tested by the US military in Afghanistan detects the slightest deviation from the truth by analysing over 100 bodily functions a second. When trained on any human the equipment beeps when a 'none' truth occurs, with the beeps getting progressively louder the bigger the lie.

But after the spectacular failure of the device Cameron has been forced to admit to the Commons how it was secretly installed on Wednesday morning and switched on prior to Prime minister's question time.

A Home Office minister explained: 'Yes there was a small fire which was safely extinguished with no further damage. We believe the device malfunctioned after some 20 minutes operating and it will now be examined by the manufacturers.'

However, the German team who made the device told us: 'the device has not been returned to us as yet and we do not expect to see it. We have studied the TV footage of the device and it seemed to be working perfectly but only for the lack of beeping noises.'

A US military spokesperson told us how the units have delivered a 100% success rate exposing the dirty lies of the Taliban scum.

A parliamentary insider told us: Cameron had the volume turned right down in case a little white one popped out and people became suspicious with the beeps. The problem occurred when the session started and the machine was powered up. From the moment it locked on to its first MP it went wild and when Cameron stood up it imploded in on itself with catastrophic results.'

No further plans are afoot to have a second machine installed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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