Written by Bert Onassis
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Topics: Kelly Osbourne

Monday, 31 January 2011

image for Kelly Osborne writes a new page of scientific discovery
size 6 and still a pig, no one can give a fig, it's King Kelly Osbourne!

Kelly Michelle Lee Osbourne (born 27 October 1984) is a British media personality, television personality, host, judge, fashion designer, singer, and actress, best known for being the daughter of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.

All of the above is fact as it was copied out of Wiki, however;

After a recent LA party at Langdon's, Kelly was taken outside, gagged, double bagged and dry humped, but passer's by could still recognise our Kelly through two Wal-Mart paper bags put over her head (normally one bag for each performer), confounding scientists a round the corner.

The new paper presented to the Royale Academy "Kelly is so pig ugly, she can be recognised through two brown paper bags" by Dr Smitch Cumstein et al is being hailed, and sometimes snowed as a revelation and should find its way into the new bible for the new millennium out some time after the forth-coming, third coming.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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