Countless studies have shown that people with Autism are brought up in exactly the same way as children without autism, leading scientists to conclude that it is the studies that are causing autism in children.
"These studies should stop at once," cried a beleaguered mother with an autistic child. "I blame these countless counting exercises for my child's autism."
With the link between studies and autism as equally valid as ever other link found to the terrible affliction that causes so much struggle for families, there is a call for the European Union to spend millions of Euros investigating the investigations that have linked investigations to autism.
"This is an alarming correlation," said European Minister for Health, Illy Sikli. "It will be investigated. While we are at it, we will see if there is any correlation between the investigations for other diseases and the disease itself. I'm fairly sure that studying people to see what causes meningitis is a possible cause of meningitis."
As of February three separate task forces will be set up. One will be set up to investigate if investigations cause the problem they are investigating, whilst one will be checking that the first group does not cause the investigations into diseases to start causing the disease. The third group will be sent on fact finding missions to a variety of tropical islands and popular tourist destinations to see what the weather is like.