Written by Proffitt
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Monday, 10 January 2011

image for No pornography please we're Indonesian
RIM bot (TWAT)

RIM (Research In Motion) has been told to filter out all porn for popular phones contracted to Indonesia or risk losing it's franchise.

Indonesian official Mr Ty My Sucky Sucky told me: 'we don't want to wait for 'COCK' (Control Of Counter Kernels - anti porn government department) to rise to the challenge, because they are too soft. We want a complete end to this.'

Technology experts explained they were doing all they can to comply:

"We've activated a new search bot called 'TWAT' (Target Websites Accessing Thumbs) which should appease the Indonesian officials and put a stop to the porn influx.'

However others on hearing this recount the last time RIM set about stopping porn.

As early as 2008 the Indonesian government demanded they act so designers introduced 'Password Informed Secure Sites Found Logged Against Ports Stipulated' (or PISS FLAPS for short). It was a disaster until COCK became involved. In the end PISS FLAPS was found to be leaking data everywhere.

When I reminded the team about this, they issued a statement that read 'You are just a bunch of C u next Tuesday's.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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