Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: masturbation, bald

Wednesday, 5 January 2011

image for Masturbating not the cause of male baldness!
He's a right "tosser" too!

Tiny boys, teenagers and other males (most of them actually) masturbating are not the cause of males going bald. Scientists have been researching into the age-old problem of males going bald and now they have achieved an astonishing result in proving that masturbating at any age is not the problem.

It is basically down to new hair being so tiny that after hair loss and having a bald patch, the new hair cannot actually be seen by the naked eye, hence the appearance of receding hair or a bald patch.

Once upon a time it was not only masturbating being blamed for baldness also going blind was a common threat to hormone-shooting young teenagers playing with themselves, "dear oh dear," pleaded Mary Whitehouse, "you'll all go blind and bald!"

Nowadays it's a common fact that blind males are not "tossers" and that baldness, thanks to this latest discovery, is also not caused by "tossing", but simply because blind "tossers" can't actually see the hairs growing, simple science actually.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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