Written by Gail Farrelly
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Tuesday, 4 January 2011

image for iPhone Sleep Alarm Malfunctions, World Rejoices
Can Apple Inc. tell time?

Thanks to a technical glitch in their iPhone sleep alarms, many iPhone users have gotten up late the last few days.

Although many of these folks are furious about the troubles this has caused THEM, most of the REST of the world is rejoicing. A cellphone-free commuter interviewed this morning in Grand Central Station was quoted as saying: "Yippee! This is a fantastic start to the New Year. Having a few minutes for the rest of us to start our day without those pesty iPhone users around us is a fantastic blessing. Hope it continues. May they enjoy long and restful sleeps. And leave the rest of us alone."

A pedestrian interviewed at 8 a.m. in downtown New York said she felt crossing the streets was safer, because iPhone users were still tucked away in their beds, instead of being behind the wheel of their cars, chatting away on their phones as they attempted to drive without getting into an accident. "They can't get into any trouble in bed, can they?" she asked, with a big smile.

It was like vacation time for Starbucks baristas all over the world who reported that the morning rush was much smoother. There were, thankfully, no iPhone users to hold up lines by chatting on their phones instead of giving their orders.

As of Monday morning, no one at Apple Inc. was available to comment on the situation. Apple executives were all at home sleeping, blissfully unaware that their sleep alarms had malfunctioned. C'est la vie!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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