Written by ESB
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Topics: Research, Disabled

Tuesday, 4 January 2011

image for New Research Confirms People With No Arms Give Lousy High Fives
Getting Ready to High Five

Cambridge, MA - Researchers at Harvard have published the results of an extensive ten year, one hundred million dollar study. The findings confirm long held beliefs. Turns out people with no arms cannot give a decent high five.

Researchers studied more than five hundred armless individuals. Study participants were put through a series of real world situations. In one test a touchdown celebration was simulated. The armless participants were asked to slap hands with their "teammate." All five hundred failed - although some did use a nub. In most cases the individual being tested was accidentally hit in the face.

Participants were also surveyed. When asked why they didn't high five most replied, "because I have no arms." A handful said they weren't "familiar with the concept."

The long term impact of this study is unclear. However, researchers say the inability to high five will have ramifications when it comes to things like appearances in beer commercials.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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