Thank God for health care reform. 88 year old Brazilian woman Maria das Dores has had quite an eventful Christmas 2010. Maria das Dores was admitted to the hospital in Ipatinga, Brazil suffering from blocked arteries and Alzheimer's disease. According to her doctors Mary died on December 22, 2010. Maria was then sent to the funeral home. It aint over till it's over.
Maria das Dores was found in her coffin doing crossword puzzles. Her doctor had declared her dead on Wednesday December 22 because she had no vital signs. She flatlined. Laying in her coffin minutes before being buried alive the gravedigger noticed movement inside of her coffin.
An unidentified undertaker because he was not authorized by the Brazilian Necrophiliac Association to speak to the media said "The only sure thing in life is death and taxes. Texas is ours and we completely reject the occupiers."
Reached at his home in Miami, Florida Barry Manilow aka Barry Alan Pincus said: "At the Copacabana Rico and Tony got into a fight over this showgirl Lola. Tony, the love of Lola's life was shot and killed. Thirty years ago Lola was in the show; "now it's a disco, but not for Lola, still in the dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair, She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half blind, She lost her youth and she lost her Tony, Now she's lost her mind!"
According to Dr. Sanjay Gupta, "A lack of vital signs does not always mean that the person is dead. Look at Lazarus; Look at Jesus." The resurrected Brazilian woman Maria dos Dores was taken back to the hospital where she enjoyed her last supper with her family and then she died again 2 days later, on Christmas Eve. Out of an abundance of caution the Ipatinga hospital will be keeping her in intensive care under observation for three more days.