Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Facebook

Monday, 27 December 2010

PALO ALTO, CA - Without warning, Facebook, holder of all personal data on the internet, decided to upgrade its suggestions facilities - just by rewriting the algorithm.

"We had nothing to do with this," said Zukerberg. "Seriously. The Facebook Suggestions algorithm is so good, it can even rewrite itself to be better. For everybody."

Originally, the Suggestions functions would give you 'like' pages or friends suggestions based on your friends' frends and like pages.

However, the new algorithm, called Suggest 1.1, would detail you on what to do with your crush, instead of telling you to text her or post a wall post, it will tell you to profess your feelings cause she feels the same.

It'll even tell you when to make your move, who would like to see that movie you want to watch, and even give you items to buy for parties and other stuff.

"It's really good," said Fred Cooper, technology professor. "We've noticed an increase in sales of certain commodities at stores because of Sugggest 1.1. Revolutionary."

As of press time, after using the Suggest 1.1 to get lucky, it asked for me to leave my webcam on...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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