Scientists at LCH in Switzerland were elated today when a major question regarding the nature of our universe appeared to be solved. Paris Hilton's brain was hurtled through the Swiss Hadron Collider and smashed into a similar size particle at close to the speed of light. Scientists had anticipated an explosion which might lead to a black hole, into which the whole world might have been sucked - or at least dumped into Switzerland - but this failed to materialize.
Emboldened by the success, they then experimented with the same process, but instead using Britney Spears' brain as the opposite particle. This time the two brains passed clear through each other without any molecular disturbance. The scientists said they had conjectured that they would probably find a quantum vacuum, but the outcome was even more astonishing. Both Paris' and Britney's brains appear to be made out of string, in line with the quantum string theory. But what was more baffling was that, contrary to the theory they found no evidence of vibration or any movement or activity at all in the two organs.
The brains have now been flown back to their owners preserved in a special mixture of vodka, rum and brandy Pina Colada with pure cocaine. Representatives of the two stars said that, in the meantime, both Paris and Britney had gone about their usual routines like normal.