STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Lady Gaga is the recipient of the 2010 Nobel Prize in Chemistry for her work in "ground-breaking experiments and applications of the novel two-dimensional material, graphene."
The chemist/musician explained, "I needed a new fashion concept for my Monster Ball tour and I thought, Wouldn't it be cool to have skin that lights up? The next best thing was a very sheer liquid-crystal-display bodysuit made from graphene. A sheet of graphene is only molecule thick and perfectly transparent, but is 200 times stronger than steel and is a nearly perfect electrical conductor.
"So I made the bodysuit and my techies wired it for image display. I would look naked, except I'm clothed in television. How perfect is that?"
Asked if she would wear graphene to the official Nobel ceremony, she replied, "No, I'm going to wear a beige pantsuit and white shirt with giant ruffles and flounces like Sweden's ABBA. The prize money is only about a million, but the trip would be worth it if I could meet ABBA."
Asked how she was able to produce sheets of graphene, she replied, "I used scotch tape to remove single layers from pencil lead. Like, duh?"