Written by Inhopeless
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Saturday, 20 November 2010

image for New Laser Camera Can See Into Your Soul
Taking a Picture of the SoulCam will Result in Your Camera Blowing Up in Your Face. We've Tried. Here's an Actual Camera.

CAMBRIDGE, MA - Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have developed a camera that can see directly into your soul.

The camera, developed by a team of twelve students, can see into your deepest desires, your wants, and can help unfold the meaning of human.

"Soul-finding," said Prof. Jack Nelson. "Is a difficult task. It could take months, years, lifetimes, to find it. With our new camera technology we can find out in seconds."

The technology will be patented by his team, and is already been used by the seach giant Google, to find out what you really want to search for.

"Google Soul-Search," said a Google rep. "will make sure that you get what you really want. Of course, with our soul-matching algorithm, we can actually find your soulmate. Plus, if you type a question, your soul will answer." Google SS wil use your webcam or mobile phone camera to detect your utmost desire.

The airport security industry has also embraced the technology.

"We can find out," said Rod Ryan. "if you are a terrorist. No racial profiling. This will eliminate the need for bag-searches, scans, blah blah blah. We have fine-tuned the camera to take pictures of your soul and search for the hate part. If terrorism is in your heart, we're onto you."

Privacy campaginers have nothing to worry about. The camera has a 'moral counter', which will determine whether the camera is being used for good or evil, rendering it useless in the hands of spammers.

As of press time, a demo of the camera was shown to this reporter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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