Written by Gail Farrelly
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Wednesday, 17 November 2010

image for NY Professor to Have Camera Implanted in Back of His Head
Smile . . . there's a camera in your head!

His plan has shocked a security-conscious nation and gives new meaning to the term headshot.

And there are practical considerations as well. The prof's friends report that, although he is determined to go through with the plan, he is running into a few challenges. For example:

-- He's annoyed his barber, who complains, "How am I supposed to give you a fashionable 'do, while cutting your hair around the camera lens?"

-- He had to re-style his hat wardrobe, hiring a tailor to cut a strategic hole in the back of each hat.

-- He has to work on the skill of walking backwards in case he needs to get closer to his subjects.

-- He's worried that his sleeping will be affected. "How the hell do you get comfortable with an electronic thingy in your head photographing your pillow?" he wonders. "Good grief, talk about pillow talk."

Meanwhile, mothers interviewed at a suburban NY Parent Teachers Association meeting were completely unimpressed by the prospect of a man with a camera implanted in the back of his head. "From time immemorial," one mom said, "mothers and nuns have had eyes in the back of their heads. And we come by it naturally. No surgery needed."

Wanting to make sure the prof got the message, she added, "Take that, Mr. Fancy Pants, Eyes-in-the-Back of-the-Head Wannabee."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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