WATERLOO, Iowa - Mr. and Mrs. Franklin Abner Justinpecker of Waterloo were recently paid a visit by the Waterloo Police Department.
It seems that their six-year-old boy Tucky has been building an atomic bomb in a backyard shed. Officer Warstone Proctordilly, who investigated after neighbors reported seeing little Tucky working in the shed at 3 a.m., said that Tucky had in fact constructed an anatomically correct and workable atomic bomb which was about 97 percent complete.
The Justinpeckers told officer Proctordilly that they had no idea what little Tucky was doing. His mother Henrietta Sue said that she did look in the shed once and she just figured that he was making an industrial crock pot.
Franklin Abner said that he works nights and sleeps during the day, so he hasn't really seen Tucky in about three months.
When asked if the atomic bomb could have been used to destroy something, an expert with The American Bomb Makers Federation of Washington D.C. said that if the bomb had gone off it could have destroyed Iowa, Wisconsin, and parts of Minnesota.
Even police bomb squad dogs would not go near the bomb. Fido, Jr., one of the best bomb dogs in the entire Midwest peed all over the shed when he first walked in and saw the atomic bomb sitting in the corner.
Tucky was asked why in the world he would want to build such a dangerously harmful device. He shrugged his shoulders and said that he was sick and tired of watching reality shows like Survivor: Nicaragua, The Apprentice, Dancing With The Stars, and The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: The atomic bomb has been totally dismantled and the parts have been loaded onto a cargo vessel which will travel to the South Pole where a 100 foot hole will be dug and the contents placed inside.]