Written by matthatt
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Topics: The Spoof, Addiction

Monday, 8 November 2010

image for Writing Spoof news stories about X-Factor more addictive than crack
My mum says I'm handsome.

A new study conducted in the UK, says writing 'piss-take' news stories about abysmal TV shows like the X-Factor is more dangerous than drugs like heroin, cocaine, etc.

The report says that even higher up the 'gonna fuck you up scale' than alcohol and tobacco or angel dust, is writing stories involving popular pop star wannabes and ripping the shit out of the fact that they are a bunch of talentless no hopers on a modern equivalent of a travelling freak show.

This is so addictive, due to a combination of 'fish in a barrel' type easiness, thus giving an instant gratification in the short term or construction phase, followed by the even more addictive, endorphins releasing high, that come about from having thousands of internet scouring idiots, landing on your page in the mistaken assumption that they are about to read a juicy titbit, involving their vacuous pop sensation of choice.

Professor Numbnutz, author of the study, said, 'It is intriguing to note that of all the drugs assessed, alcohol, tobacco, auto-asphyxiation etc it is only writing these types of articles that show exactly the same type of brain activity that occurs whilst sneezing or having a wank.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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