Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Space, Aliens

Sunday, 7 November 2010

PLANET EARTH, DELTA-SECTOR, 236th GALACTIC DISTRICT, MILKY WAY - The rest of the universe united against the Earth's depictions of extra-terrestrial life, today,

At a press conference hosted on every single screen and audio device on Earth, in every language spoken on the planet, the Head of the GA said words about the humankind's caricatures of aliens in film, book, TV and radio.

"It is horrendous!" said Glafaxou, speaking from the local star system area's base on Mars. "We gave you help throughout the ages! We helped you find metals, and work with stones. We helped build those tri-points in Giza. You attacked us at all these points, and we thought that you were evolving like the rest of us!"

"We saw you develop, and thought you needed a little help, after you mercilessly killed each other, so we sent one down representative to mediate. Of course, your radio signals interfered with his Galactic Positioning Stystem, so he landed in a dusty outfield in New Mexico. Then you took him apart, reverse-engineered the technology on the craft, and proved: you still were as barbaric as 3 million years ago."

"But still, we thought you'd evolve. But, then in the next 60 Ferls (decades), you depict us as either invaders, evil beasts... Alien, Predator, Independence Day or dopey, comic effect devices... ET..."

"Think. Think. I'm not sure you can do that, but still. Why would anyone want to come hundred of light-years to destroy a backwater planet that can't even sustain itself?"

The conference ended there. The hour after this, the internet crashed due to the entire human race uploading the same video of what everyone saw plus they voted on the X-Factor.

With this new development, The GA decided to issue an eviction notice for the humans, citing 'termination by ionic bio-laser will ensue for human-only lifeforms.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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