Written by IainB
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Friday, 5 November 2010

image for Bermuda Triangle to take all the world's nuclear waste
The Bermuda Radiation Triangle

The Bermuda Triangle, made famous by Barry Manilow, has finally discovered a use for it's ability to make things disappear: it will be used as a rubbish dump for the world's nuclear waste. However, some scientists think that this could store up trouble for future generations.

Over the past two hundred years several ships and aircraft have vanished in the three hundred square (triangle) mile patch of sea, which is approximately average for any similar sized well traversed area of sea. This has led people to believe that this mystical part of the ocean is supernatural or is displaying unusual physics, such as a wormhole or black hole.

Couple this with a mounting pile of waste nuclear material that will take millions of years to become safe, and the Bermuda Islands Co-Operative, that runs the affairs on the two dozen islands in the area, has decided to make use of the area's vanishing act by disposing of the hazardous waste there.

"There's an island in the middle of the triangle," said Co-Operative member Chip Van Ishing. "So far it has steadfastly refused to disappear, so we are thinking of putting all the nuclear waste on this island."

The idea behind the island is that eventually it will succumb to the same forces that have caused ships and planes to disappear, and vanish itself taking with it all of the world's nuclear waste.

Many scientists have pooh-poohed the idea, stating that the island is an important staging post for the red footed booby, and filling it with nuclear waste is a bad idea. They also state that if the Bermuda Triangle is a myth, the waste will sit there forever; and if it is not a myth it will be highly dangerous to send ships travelling to the island full of nuclear waste, in case they vanish too.

Van Ishing is philosophical about both outcomes. "We need the money," he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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