Written by Jaggedone
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Drugs, Alcohol

Monday, 1 November 2010

image for Drugs are far healthier than booze claim "Junkies Anonymous"!
F++k the booze, I'm on the wagon, pass me the needle it's healthier!

"Junkies Anonymous" formed by a group of ex-heroin, crack and cocaine addicts claim that their particular habit is much healthier than boozing themselves to death with guess what, booze!

AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, also claim that taking drugs is far less dangerous than boozing, so now many AA 'ers are actually converting to drugs and feel much better, healthier and look forward to a quicker, sober, shorter, "happy end".

A spokesman of AA, Jim Beam-Walker, gave the following reasons:

"getting pissed and dying on booze just takes too long man, sniffing coke and injecting Big H, man that's healthier, quicker and I don't even get a hangover anymore!"

Proof that drugs will actually kill you quicker, but during a Junkies short stay on the planet, it's much healthier because there are no stinking hangovers, being sick outside of the boozer (very slippery and dangerous), wetting one's underpants and it costs less for the NHS because AA's tend to live longer than their counterparts, Junkies.

All in all being a alcoholic is a long-term pain in the arse, being a Junkie is a short term pain in the arm, but once the Golden Shot kicks in, it's becomes healthier, logical!

"Pass me the needle, I'm on the wagon from now on!"

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

2 21 17 4

Go to top