Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Beer, Japan

Monday, 25 October 2010

image for Japan Invents The Fastest Opening Beer Can In The World
The world's fastest opening beer can, the FFO-7000.

OSAKA, Japan - The Fuji Fuji Oopsy Beer Company of Osaka has just introduced the new FFO-7000 Easy Opening Beer Can.

Japanese research scientists worked for five months perfecting the new beer can which can be opened up to 2.3 seconds quicker than the next fastest opening beer can on the market.

This fact will mean that the average beer drinker will have his total drinking time increased by anywhere from 45 seconds to 2 minutes and 6 seconds.

Kushimi Kamakura president and CEO of Fuji Fuji Oopsy stated that his company has already had advance orders of 86 million cans for beer companies in Ireland and the United States alone.

He went on to say that the research scientist who invented the FFO-7000, Toki Bob Funaki has been given a $9 an hour raise plus he has received an all-expenses paid one week trip for himself and his wife or/girlfriend to Mount Rushmore in South Dakota.

Mr. Funaki said that he first got the idea for the easy opening beer can while watching the American sit-com Two and A Half Men with Charlie Sheen.

To see photos of the newly designed FFO-7000 log on to www.easyopeningdamnnicebeercan.hic.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 1?

7 2 25 9
77 readers are online right now!

Go to top