Houston, TX-- NASA scientists are informing President Obama today that there is something unusual happening with the sun. The nearest star in Outer Space is sporting a noticeable bulge in its midsection, just above its equator. The unexpected discovery has scientists around the world mystified. NASA director Dr. Karl Saygun spoke with the press about the puzzling phenomenon.
"There's still a lot we don't know about the sun. The Hubble Space Telescope spotted the bulge this morning. An X-ray analysis is being completed now. We should know more very shortly." said the confused-looking astronomer.
"We know the sun is middle-aged now. Perhaps it is developing a middle-age spread." he joked to the press corp. No one laughed.
"We know a comet crashed into the sun last year. Perhaps comets have lots of calories, and the sun is simply getting fat!" he tried to joke again. Still, no one laughed.
Suddenly, an aide walked over to the podium and handed Dr. Saygun the X-ray analysis of the sun's new bulge. Dr. Saygun read the information quickly, and then froze with fear. His eyes popped-out and his hair literally stood straight up! He took a minute to compose himself, before addressing the press.
"Folks, like I said before, we still don't know a lot about the sun. I need to give you some news that will astonish you." said the shaken scientist. There was complete silence in the press auditorium as he delivered the information:
"The sun is alive. She's female. And, sh-sh-sh-sh...!!" he stammered in shock.
"What! What are you trying to tell us!" someone yelled out from the crowd.
"She's pregnant!" said the astronomer, and he then dropped dead from the shock of it all. Everyone in the audience burst out laughing.