Written by Shaun Connery
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Topics: Mustache, brown

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

image for Hairy Moment for the Brown Theory!
The brown factor at work

Scientists with long beards have discovered the reason that some males to grow hair on their upper lip. Fondness of the colour brown is now known to be the dominant factor in this phenomenon.

Shaving historians (the people with knowledge of shaving throughout history not the popular past time originating in East Anglia) claim that shaving became popular at some point in history, at some point after that some men stopped shaving their upper lips. It is thought that men encountered the colour brown throughout their days as bright colours did not exist at such a time leading to the emergence of this peculiar facial hair. As the world grew brighter the trend for what is now referred to as a moustache, or in some circles mustances, died out.

Recent tests involved boiling water in a test tube and watching rodents for months seem to confirm this ground breaking theory. The hypothesis was thought up long before scientific trials began and are now attributed to an unnamed but impressively-uddered English teacher from the Midlands.

It is thought she did not pursue her theory at the time due to a hairy-jumpered temporary Maths teacher who pointed to bald-lipped young man renowned for his obsession with the murky colour. The man in question must remain nameless for legal reasons although it is thought his obsession was so great that the brown felt tip pen budget increased dramatically during the time he attended the school.

With the theory now proved scientifically evidence has emerged that the boy, who for so long had been the exception to the rule, has been spotted sporting a mustance. A source claims that the fan of brown was remarkably hairless in other places and this may explain why for so long he baffled scientists by being fond of the brown whilst remaining hairless.

Do you really like the colour brown? Do you have a moustache? Get in touch and tell us your story!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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