Written by anthonyrosania
Print this
Topics: Nobel Prize, IVF

Monday, 4 October 2010

image for Test-Tube Baby a 'Big, Fat Mess,' and 'Has No Soul,' Says Doctor Who Created Her
ABOVE: A 1918 photograph entitled "Alfred Nobel Has A Toothache."

Drs. Patrick Steptoe and Robert Edwards, who were awarded the Noble Prize For Crimes Against Humanity today, now say that their creation, a child manufactured via in-vitro fertilization, "has no soul. She is a big, fat mess, and should never have been created."

(Editors: Dr. Patrick Steptoe had no comment, since he was smote by God in 1978 for this abomination.)


That all of these arguments against IVF were made at the time of her birth. How ridiculous. I mean, about her birth being a crime against God. She still is a big, fat mess.

"I've never met the thing," said Dr. Edwards, who has spent his life saying 'Hail-Marys', trying to uncondemn his eternal soul, in vain. "But I heard that she is a soulless, big, fat mess. May God have mercy on us all."

The girl, hatched July 25, 1978 in the United Kingdom, is now a 22-stone mother of a three year old, cannot be photographed since her image cannot be captured on film, because she is a soulless spawn of Satan.

"Instead of the Nobel Prize," continued Dr. Edwards. "I should be vilified. I never told the parents that IVF never resulted in an actual baby. What of the informed consent issue? I'm disgusting."

Shortly before the death of Pope Paul VI, when asked for his reaction to Brown's birth, condemned the parents and the doctors involved to an eternity in Hell. And the Church is standing by His ruling.

"The world is full of crimes against God," said a spokespriest for the Church. "Gay marriage and gay adoption, in vitro fertilization? It is an abomination."

Any many Christians agree.

"A barren couple should not have the right to bare children, simply because they are blessed with a good doctor, a plug and an outlet, just as same sex 'couples' are unfit to wed, or adopt," said some Baptist dude. "The Bible talks of a baby born from his father and mother, not his mother, a Gyno, and Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection."

Make anthonyrosania's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 2?

5 11 24 2
48 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more