Drs. Patrick Steptoe and Robert Edwards, who were awarded the Noble Prize For Crimes Against Humanity today, now say that their creation, a child manufactured via in-vitro fertilization, "has no soul. She is a big, fat mess, and should never have been created."
(Editors: Dr. Patrick Steptoe had no comment, since he was smote by God in 1978 for this abomination.)
That all of these arguments against IVF were made at the time of her birth. How ridiculous. I mean, about her birth being a crime against God. She still is a big, fat mess.
"I've never met the thing," said Dr. Edwards, who has spent his life saying 'Hail-Marys', trying to uncondemn his eternal soul, in vain. "But I heard that she is a soulless, big, fat mess. May God have mercy on us all."
The girl, hatched July 25, 1978 in the United Kingdom, is now a 22-stone mother of a three year old, cannot be photographed since her image cannot be captured on film, because she is a soulless spawn of Satan.
"Instead of the Nobel Prize," continued Dr. Edwards. "I should be vilified. I never told the parents that IVF never resulted in an actual baby. What of the informed consent issue? I'm disgusting."
Shortly before the death of Pope Paul VI, when asked for his reaction to Brown's birth, condemned the parents and the doctors involved to an eternity in Hell. And the Church is standing by His ruling.
"The world is full of crimes against God," said a spokespriest for the Church. "Gay marriage and gay adoption, in vitro fertilization? It is an abomination."
Any many Christians agree.
"A barren couple should not have the right to bare children, simply because they are blessed with a good doctor, a plug and an outlet, just as same sex 'couples' are unfit to wed, or adopt," said some Baptist dude. "The Bible talks of a baby born from his father and mother, not his mother, a Gyno, and Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection."