Written by Gabhan O'Buachalla
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Topics: Health

Thursday, 30 September 2010

image for Appendix key to afterlife, Appendectomy gangs terrorise New York

Scientist's have finally revealed the mystery of the soul's location.

Dr. Barry White MD explains: "The discovery occurred when we were investigating the weight of the human soul.

"We had some data that the human soul weighs 21 grams. This was determined by carefully weighing a person before and just after the point of death.

"However, we could not explain some anomalies. Some people did not reduce in weight by 21grams on death. We re-examined the patient records and discovered these patients had their appendix removed during their lives.

"We can conclude from this that the Appendix must contain the human soul."

The Appendectomy is probably greatest act of human barbarity that man has devised since creation. Denying patients any chance of an afterlife.

"There is a lot of belly button staring going on by the Medical Profession at the moment after realising the consequences of what we have collectively done, " says Dr. Flick, World Medical Council.

Millions of people worldwide have now been denied a shot at an afterlife.

"I'm gutted, They've taken my soul and I won't be going to heaven" - Radovan Karadzic

The social consequences are yet to be seen, but with no afterlife appendix-less people have no reason to abide by any moral, ethical or religious code.

"I'm just going to party, murder, pillage and steal! My soul can't go to hell!" - Appendectomy Victim

Already there are reports that gangs of appendix-less people are terrorising New York.

"It was horrific, the gang just stopped people, checked to see if they had an appendix scar, if they didn't they just beat them up, and threatened to take their soul" - New York commuter.

Meanwhile, people have started to draw fake appendix scars in order to protect their soul.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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